Conflicts are everywhere. Since the Fall in Genesis 3, conflicts have been a part of almost every relationship, and many pastors and church leaders have witnessed this even within their rural churches. This should not be surprising when we recognize the high value and symbolic connections people attach to the place where we worship. When misunderstandings occur, conflicts in our churches go unresolved, leaving congregants either hurt or distant from one another. Sometimes conflict flares up and spreads like wildfire across the church. But what if we could take a step back to understand the conflict and change the trajectory toward resolution? That is the hope of this article. Now we know that much can be written about conflict; however, this piece seeks to shed light on a particular area of church conflict – the types of conflicts that often occur in churches. Specifically, we will investigate three significant types of church conflict: intrapersonal, structural, and interpersonal.
1. INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICT
When we think of church conflicts, we usually imagine a disagreement between two people. But that is not always the case. Sometimes disagreement is not between people but within a person. Defined as intrapersonal – or inner – conflict, a turmoil or tension occurs within one’s self, often in matters of conscience, choice, and well-being.[1] Examples of this conflict could include an inner conflict over theological understandings – such as the nature of God’s love, or a personality clash – such as an extreme introvert being asked to answer a question. Recognizing this type of conflict is significant because, while it sometimes escalates to involve others within the church, the root of the conflict lies in the uncertainty of one’s own self over a particular matter. To remedy this conflict, the person in conflict will need to recognize it if they have not already.
When recognizing that the conflict is intrapersonal, what are some ways to help one achieve resolution? Resolution occurs when a person realizes their own issues. This can be done through self-reflection or with the guidance of a spiritual leader.[2] Therefore, pastors or church leaders must help create an environment where the person can reflect on or openly discuss these conflicted issues. Also, pastors and church leaders must not be afraid to speak to and invest in people when they notice these conflicts.
2. STRUCTURAL CONFLICT
This next type of conflict is structural conflict, focusing on the hidden structures of the church and community. This conflict occurs when tension arises against a structural factor, whether from the constitution/bylaws or other governing documents, organizational authority, or hidden cultural values.[3] David Brubaker in Promise and Peril states that, “Structural factors are usually the most highly significant and least recognizable sources of conflict in the church.”[4] Acts 6 demonstrates this conflict concerning the oversight of the widows. The problem was the neglect of Hellenist Jewish widows due to the increasing demands of the apostles. The solution was a structural change: the creation of what would eventually be known as deacons.
What causes structural conflict? First, a change in structure or culture can cause confusion or pushback from the rural congregation, especially when change is rarely implemented.[5] Second, conflict arises when the church has a recurring deficit of a healthy structure. Third, a structural conflict can arise from an incidental structural error, often due to ignorance.
To help in this type of conflict, the pastor and church leaders should consider these insights. Since conflict can arise during structural changes, clear communication of those changes to the congregation will help minimize confusion and pushback. Also, church leaders should continually assess the church’s structural factors to identify unhealthy habits, structures, or cultures that may have recently emerged. And, if applicable, acknowledge any incidental error and rectify it with the parties in conflict.
3. INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
Interpersonal conflict is often what comes to mind when thinking of church conflict. This conflict occurs when tension arises between individuals or groups[6] due to differences.[7] As with the other two types of conflict, the specific root can vary. Given the frequency of this type of conflict, it would be helpful to examine several primary roots of relational conflict.
Many interpersonal conflicts can arise from differences between people’s beliefs, means, or goals. While these three can overlap, it is good to recognize the distinction to have a more fruitful conversation that can lead to unity and reconciliation. When referring to beliefs, the issues stem from a clash of beliefs or convictions on a particular topic. Conflict over means is a difference not over an issue but over methodology – or as Everist calls it, ministry.[8] Finally, when it comes to goals, conflict arises from disagreements over where the church or group should be going – namely, its vision. In other words, the question is, “To what end does the person like to achieve?” Philippians 4 speaks of an interpersonal conflict between two ladies, and the answer was not to take sides but to have someone come in and help them agree in the Lord.[9] Many commentators conclude that the matter was a matter of opinion. Another Biblical example is when Paul and Barnabas separate in Acts 15.[10]
Interpersonal conflict can also arise from one’s sin. One could say that most conflicts can find some nature of “sin” contributing to the conflict, or that the conflict has a feeling of being “wronged.”[11] However, in this case, the root cause of the tension between people is a clear sin. Sin, by its nature, breeds tension and separation between not only them and God but those around them. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that our sins will create conflict within the church, especially if the sin was directed at one person or negatively affected them.
Interpersonal conflict may stem from personal connections. This connection might be due to several things. Personality differences can create conflict.[12] An example of this is when Mrs. Jones is asked to help the children’s Sunday School teacher and she quickly responds no because the teacher is too “bubbly” for her. Another way personal connections can create a conflict is through past familial history that has translated to hurt feelings or generational distance between persons or families. The new pastor noticed two families avoiding each other. When he pressed for details, he found that 50 years ago there had been a disagreement nobody could remember, but its effects were still evident.
Personal connections may find themselves outside the church. This reality finds itself more prevalent in rural areas than in urban or suburban areas. The relational rapport between community members is heightened in rural areas, which affects relationships within the church. This can also create conflict among those in the church, even though the source of the conflict is outside the church. Also, since church members are also community members, conflict between church members may not have to do with matters within the church but rather elsewhere. These are important to recognize, as conflicts that started outside the church can be exacerbated by other issues within the church.
When it comes to aiding interpersonal conflict, three tips may be helpful. These are not exhaustive, but they give a starting framework toward resolution. First, Matthew 18:15-17 provides a valuable template for resolving interpersonal conflicts.[13] While this passage deals primarily with matters of one’s sin and serves as a primary guide for such conflict, several principles are beneficial for all types of interpersonal conflict. Second, help yourself or others to see one another as family members.[14] Too often, conflict ensues because church members have forgotten the grace that God has given us and the love we ought to have for one another.[15] Third, help yourself or others navigate past emotions and towards the issue at hand. Then, determine whether the problem is from Scripture or elsewhere. Many conflicts are matters of opinion or self-interest rather than the Bible. However, those in conflict often feel their thoughts are “Scriptural” when they are not. Help the parties recognize their differences in opinion and that there may be room for liberty. Helping people see that can open more opportunities for dialogue and negotiation.
In summary, it does not take much to convince that conflict happens everywhere, including rural churches. This article hopefully provides a framework for church conflicts, specifically breaking down the types of conflict. Intrapersonal conflict exists when a person is conflicted within himself. When the church has a weakness or a shift occurs within its structure or culture, structural conflict is bound to arise. When congregants experience tension among themselves due to an issue, sin, or differences, interpersonal conflict arises. Knowing these types of conflict can help one identify the actual problem, leading to resolution. Beyond all of this, though, let us not forget the wisdom, the help, and the hope that come from God. Through dependence on God, we can “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”[16]
[1] Norma Cook Everist, Church Conflict, xii, 157 pages; 15.
[2] Everist, Church Conflict.
[3] Michael Hare, When Church Conflict Happens.
[4] David R. Brubaker, Promise and Peril.
[5] Brubaker, Promise and Peril.
[6] Such groups could be church committees, teams, or specific ministries.
[7] Everist, Church Conflict, 17.
[8] Everist, Church Conflict, 21.
[9] Philippians 4:2-3.
[10] Acts 15:36-41.
[11] John Paul Lederach, Reconcile, 95.
[12] Hare, When Church Conflict Happens, 88.
[13] Hare, When Church Conflict Happens, 91.
[14] Alfred Poirier, The Peacemaking Pastor, 105.
[15] Romans 12:10.
[16] English Standard Version, Hebrews 4:16.
Tyler and his family have spent the past 11 years as RHMA missionaries in Carter, South Dakota. He has a DMin in rural ministry from Dallas Seminary.